Fat Biscuit

The Facts They are Random

1. When my sister and I were 3 and 4 years old, respectively, I left a piece of paper on the floor of our grandparents' flat. Sian slipped on it and broke her femor. It is still my fault.

 

2. I broke my left wrist in fourth grade when I fell of my yellow and blue Huffy BMX. I swear that break was more painful than childbirth.

 

3. My cat just threw up in our living room.

 

4. Today my husband is scheduled to receive a guitar and amp in the mail. He and Owen are going to learn guitar together.

 

5. I was in marching band for 7 years! My Mum made me join, but then I ended up loving it. Might have been the best thing about school, really.

 

6. Being valedictorian was definitely NOT the best thing about high school: I had to give a speech in front of everyone, which absolutely terrified me.

 

7. I have a crush on John Linnell from They Might be Giants. Nerd lust?

 

8. When I was in grade school, I never said the pledge of allegiance. Nor did I bow my head in prayer.

 

9. I'm an atheist. We need more of those in the PTA, right?

 

10. For breakfast this morning, I had lots of coffee and then a smoothie. 

 

11. I love beans on toast. And in case you don't know, I mean this.

 

12. All of my friends love my Mum. They always have. 

 

13. My son was almost named Jasper.

 

14. I first discovered I was pregnant with my son at work, when I took a pee test in the office bathroom. I actually took that pee stick to my friend's cubicle to show her. 

 

15. You'd be surprised what people do at work.

 

 

Battling Bugs

On Thursday we continued the battle by spraying our dry hair with some kind of "preventative spray" to stop the return of any nasties. This product was au naturale, and as a result, Owen and I both smell like eucalyptus at the moment. 

We did have some nice friends who were willing to hang out with us, despite our plague. I swear I tried to get a blog-worthy portrait of all the kids sitting together nicely, but it just wasn't happening. 

 

Not Since I Was in Grade School

. . . have I had to worry about lice. And now, here I am, at age 36, draggin' a fine-tooth nit comb through my tangled hair wishing I could just shave my head. (If only I had a prettier, rounder face, I swear I'd do it.) Truth be told, it was mostly Tay who did the combing, and you'd be surprised by how, when performed by the right person, a lice treatment can actually be quite relaxing. 

Owen has the plague as well, and I'm guessing he picked it up at nature camp (how ironic) before dropping some bugs on me. Better now than during the school year, I reckon. 

So, that's what I've been up to this week: stripping the beds, washing the sheets, bagging the delicate headbands and stuffed animals, vacuuming, scratching, washing, combing . . . You know the drill. 

But, hey, that doesn't mean I'm not still in training: My next big race is the Woodrow Wilson Half Marathon. I'm in week 3 of Hal Higdon's training schedule, and all is well. I'm getting better at waking early and hitting the path a little after 6 a.m. 

This year, however, will be the first Fall that I do two half marathons, one month after each other. I'm not sure how to taper and then rebuild in between. Any one have any suggestions?

 

 

The Facts They are Random

1. Since I started running ~ 2 years ago, I have not lost a single pound. In fact, I weigh 15 pounds more now than I did when Owen was a toddler. I think this is mostly related to the slowing metabolism of someone in their mid-30s. I'm just glad I started out thin  . . . 

 

2. I think way too much about my weight.

 

3. For our first date, my husband invited me to see an Annie Leibovitz exhibit at the Corcoran.

 

4. I believe strongly in the use of serial commas.

 

5. I know I have a tendency to be overly critical. For example, when I see someone driving around in a Suburban or an Escalade, I let out a little curse and say, "I hope they've got at least 4 kids up in there." (Note: My alter ego is so street. Don't mess with me.)

 

6. I have large wrist bones. I mean, like, the distal radial ulnar joint is frickin' huge.

 

7. I believe that a person's political affiliation DOES say a lot about them. 

 

8. When we were little, my sister and I used to catch toads and then keep them in our Barbie pool and pretend to train them like animals at Sea World.

 

9. We also used to sit in the clay red dirt in the ditch in front of our house and cover our legs with the gritty soil. Our legs would get darker, and we'd pretend we were Indians (now referred to as Native Americans.)

 

10. I get car sick if I ride in the back seat. 

 

11. I take tranquilizers when I have to go on an airplane. Otherwise, the anxiety and fear are unbearable. Fortunately, our son loves flying and hasn't acquired my phobia.

 

12. I love that my kid at age 8 has a passport and has traveled to Wales, England, Germany, and Iceland.

 

13. I cannot sing in tune to save my life. Nor can I ever remember any of the lyrics to any song. I consider this a major deficiency.

 

14. I think every woman should own fun underwear. (My sister taught me that.)

 

Cat Attack

"What have I become?"

I asked Taylor this question in bed last night after I realized that I had actually chosen to wear my running clothes to bed to facilitate my early morning run. 

"Don't know, honey."

It must be annoying for the spouse of an  "obsessed" "enthusiastic" runner. I talk about running more than I should, and I think about running more than I should. And, I wear a running tank and shorts to bed: not very sexy. I have to give Tay credit: he's very supportive. Maybe one day I can return the favour: like if he takes up competitive tiny-house building or becomes the leader of an underground anti ugly architecture movement. I could do his paperwork. 

How do other spouses handle this? 

Today is Mix and Match day at Owen's camp, so he wore his camo shorts, a fluorescent safety vest (from Auntie Sian), and a tae kwon do headband. Even though he said camp was boring on Tuesday, he now thinks he might want to do it again next summer. 

Reese, the cat, is enjoying the lazy summer days. She's gotten very good at sorting my lingerie.

 

 

Wading

Some days running is what I do to make me feel great. Other days I run for mental maintenance, to avoid being dragged into a pit of depression by the stress of parenting. Guess what type of day today is?

I snoozed the alarm this morning and missed out on getting the run in before Owen's drop-off at Camp Invention. I think my body is still rebelling against these early morning runs and needed a break. Instead I went straight to gym after camp and slogged through 3 miles on the treadmill. I didn't feel exuberant or empowered or even like a bad ass athlete.  I felt tired and a bit weary. I felt like someone who was running because in theory if I made it through some exercise, I should feel happier. It's science, right? 

Well, it worked for the most part, but I still managed to get in some worrying while I ran:

• Why did I voluntarily breed knowing I have a mental illness and that these illnesses are genetic?
• When will Owen learn to spell? 
• Is Owen dyslexic?
• How can I be a better parent and handle Owen's outbursts?
• Does an 8-year-old need a shrink?
• Do these shorts make me look fat? (joking)

I have to remind myself that there are benefits to having a sensitive kid. He never says malicious things to other children, and for the most part, is pretty guileless. So, let it be on the record that I can't stand precocious children. You know, the ones who talk to you like they are adults. Hate 'em.

The Facts They are Random

1. I have to shave my legs EVERY SINGLE DAY. Otherwise, things get ugly.

2. For some reason, I've developed this OCD habit recently of having to spit in the sink every time I use it to wash my hands. (I'm so sexy.)

3. This year on 11/11/11, my husband and I will celebrate 11 years of marriage.

4. In the last 2 weeks I've managed to lose one credit card and have the info from another stolen. The tip-off was the transactions at a Wal Mart in California. 

5. I refuse to shop at Wal Mart. I guess I've been influenced by too many anti-Wal Mart documentaries.

6. When I'm out running, I always check out other women's legs to see if they are more or less muscular than my own. 

7. I hate mayonnaise and mustard and relish and olives.

8. I don't like the word "dollop." Please don't use it around me. 

9. We've never had cable. My son feels this is unusually cruel treatment because all the kids' shows on regular television are "educational."

10. I have this recurring fantasy wherein I fall badly near the end of a race and get back up and drag my bloody self across the finish line.  

Camping Weekend

Camping weekend was wonderful. We wish we could camp every weekend: cooler temps, no mosquitos, pretty flowers, butterflies, and mountain views, and most importantly traditional Shenandoah blackberry ice cream.

Back to reality: Owen's got nature camp every morning this week. So, that's about 3 hours for me to cram in some editing. Then I edit again at night. Today was insanely hot and humid but we had to skip the pool so that Owen would have time to do worksheets before tutoring. Believe me, he complained all through those two short sheets.

I'm so close to registering for the Woodrow Wilson Half Marathon. I just don't understand how registration for a half can cost $90!?? That medal better be real gold.

Owen with Jakey and Ben (AKA his "godbrothers")

The Facts They Are Random

1. I've been writing this blog since 2004, the year after my son was born.

 

2. Most of the clothes I wear are black, maybe grey, and it kills me that for running I'm stuck wearing bright orange or purple or aqua.

 

3. I don't like flat feet; they kinda gross me out.

 

4. I once got rid of a guy who was trying to pick me up by pretending to speak only French. Not a very smart guy, obviously.

 

5. The first big concert I ever went to was Metallica, the And Justice For All tour. When I was there, my shirt got a burn hole in it because the guy sitting behind me kept inadvertently flicking cigarette ashes on my back.

 

6. While I was at UVA I went to a grand total of one football game. It was boring.

 

7. I have never ever stolen anything. 

 

8. The thing I'm most proud of would probably be having a natural childbirth and totally rocking it!

 

9. When Owen first came out, it took a couple minutes for him to start breathing. The midwives called an ambulance, but by the time the EMTs arrived, Owen had taken his first breath. Unfortunately, I was still sprawled out naked on the bed for all the EMTs to gawk at. 

 

10. I'm a vegetarian who doesn't miss meat one bit. But dear god, don't ever take sugar or coffee from me. I will beat you.

 

11. I use to suffer from pretty major depression and anxiety, and it still amazes me that I got through it.

 

12. I feel pretty lucky almost every day. See #11.

I Win The Oxygen-Deprivation Contest!

That's right, suckers! Today I totally let those kids have it. We were at a nearby water park today when my son and his foolish friends decided to see who could hold their breath underwater the longest. Guess what? Old Ceri's still got it!

I remember playing this game when I was little. My sister and I could make 25 m (one lap) swimming underwater and sometimes turn around at the wall and start coming back. Ah, the good old days. When summer break was spent playing shark and practicing our synchronized swimming routines (tacky makeup and garish hair pieces NOT included).

Owen's friend asked how I could hold my breathe so long. I don't know. Is it something you get better at when you are a bit older? Or, does it have any relation to the amount of exercise you do? Any theories?

The last couple of days Owen has been amusing himself during our non-pool hours by painting Lego mini-figures in order to create new mini-figures. I know. It's confusing, right? Blame, YouTube. Owen came across some videos of a guy painting his Legos to look like famous comic book characters: you take a Lego torso, paint it blue, add some details with black paint, and WHAM! . . . you've got Wolverine! I have to say, though, cutting up paperclips in order to glue on Wolverine's claws is just asking too much from this English major. Here's Owen working on Wolverine's paper mask, which you are somehow expected to glue onto a Lego head:

It did keep him occupied for hours, however, so I really can't complain. 

That's a lot of paint awfully close to my laptop, don't you think?